Trigger warning: This post discusses suicidal ideation (SI). Please read only if you think this could be helpful for your well-being. 

No matter your beliefs – whether you are a Christ-follower or not – the subject of suicidal ideation is deeply personal and often hard to talk about. Because it is often misunderstood, it is rarely addressed openly. If you are walking through this right now, I can relate to the challenges of SI. Know your life matters, and God’s heart is tender towards you.

My Story

SI is something I have struggled with throughout my life. My first memories of SI occurred around the age of 14. While some of these thoughts and feelings were side effects of medications, they still felt consuming and overwhelming. 

As I grew older, the thoughts did not disappear; instead, they moved to a more dangerous place. I have since learned that these experiences are not rare. SI is a thing experienced by many, both inside and outside of the church, and is often hidden in plain sight.

What We Mean by SI

Suicidal Ideation refers to the thoughts, whether unwanted (intrusive) or intentional (desired), about ending one’s life.

It’s important to understand that SI is a multifaceted thing. It’s not just an emotional struggle- it is a physical, emotional, and spiritual battle. It requires integrated care that meets needs on multiple levels.

A Biblical SI Story

The story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19 seems to hold SI in verse 4:

“…And he (Elijah) asked that he might die, saying, ‘It is enough, now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.’” 

When a pastor first shared this verse with me, I was struck by two things: Elijah’s raw honesty and God’s compassionate response.

At this point in his life, Elijah has walked through many trials and hardships. He was running for his life from Queen Jezabel. He was beaten down emotionally, he was overwhelmed spiritually, and he was deeply discouraged. Those of us who struggle with SI can relate to this vulnerable place.

In this moment of crisis, Elijah desired for his life to end. Scripture does not tell us if he had a specific plan or intent, but his longing for his life to end is clear. 

God’s Response

God’s response to Elijah’s pain is both simple and profound. He does not shame Elijah for his thoughts. He does not question why Elijah feels the way he does. He does not walk away.

Instead, God meets Elijah’s needs thoroughly and holistically. He sends an angel to give food, water, and rest (1 Kings 19:5-6). Only after caring for Elijah’s physical needs does God address the deeper matters of his heart and calling.

God cares for Elijah’s needs by assuring him that the journey is hard but that he will not walk it alone (1 Kings 19:7). God then meets Elijah’s spiritual needs- not through a dramatic display of power, but in a gentle whisper, reminding Elijah that His presence is near (1 Kings 19:11-12). 

This is the heart of God: compassionate, present, and attentive to every part of us. 

What This Means for Us 

From 1 Kings 19, we see two essential truths: 

1. God does not condemn those wrestling with SI. He meets us in our pain and cares deeply for us. He reminds us He is for us, not against us (Romans 8:31).
2. The best response to SI is holistic care- addressing physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Sometimes this means inpatient care. Other times, it means offering a safe presence, providing a meal, or helping someone get rest.

Practical questions can open the door to care: 

• Have you eaten a balanced meal today?
• Are you drinking enough water? 
• Have you been able to sleep the last few nights?

These simple acts can be a lifeline, especially when offered with compassion and without judgment. 

For Those Struggling

If you are struggling with SI, know this: You are never alone, and you are not beyond hope. God sees you, hears you, and deeply cares about your thoughts and desires and the state of your mental and emotional well-being. He “is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18) and offers rest for your soul (Matthew 11:28-30).

Your pain is real, but it is not the end of your story. If you are struggling, please don’t struggle alone. Bring your thoughts to God first. Then,  bring them to other safe and trusted individuals. God did not create us to walk through this life in isolation. We have been given the church, God’s people, and each other to support and bear our burdens.

For Those Who Want to Help

If someone shares their struggle with you: 

• Listen without judgment. 
• Help meet their basic needs before offering advice. 
• Encourage connection to professional and spiritual support. 
• Pray with and for them. 
• Sit with them.

Your presence, compassion, and willingness to walk alongside can be a reflection of God’s heart for them. 

Final Encouragement

1 Kings 19 offers a glimpse into God’s heart for those in deep despair. He draws near. He cares for the whole person. And He invites us to do the same.

Whether you are in the valley yourself or walking with someone who is, know this: God is faithful, near, and gentle. He will meet you where you are, and He will not leave you there. 

If you feel like you don’t have anyone to talk to, please know that you can reach out to the suicide hotline at 988. There is no shame in reaching out – it is a courageous step toward life. Many, including myself, have called and received help and support from this line. You do not have to carry this alone. 

 

Maggie is a bible college-educated author seeking to advance the gospel through her writing. To read more written by Maggie, visit her Substack.