How to Survive the Holidays

Feeling the jolly of the holidays is excruciatingly hard? Experiencing pain even when you are around familiar people or traditions? Trauma does that. It brings a new level of awareness for the brokenness you feel, and it seeks to steal the joy of those moments.

Figuring out why you celebrate, what to engage in, whom to be around or how to even begin to join in festivities can be a hurdle. If your circumstances are overwhelming and you are trying to figure out how to survive this season, we pray this will encourage you today.

Tips for surviving this holiday season:

1. Remember that slow and steady wins the race. You don’t have to do “all the things” or meet everyone’s expectations. Pick one thing that is doable and do it. This can be as simple as lighting a candle, snuggling under a blanket, or listening to your favorite Christmas song. If it brings tears, it’s ok. Quietly mourn the losses. Reflect on memories that were joyful. And breathe. It makes sense to take baby steps in processing the hard things or emotions you feel. This season of pain will pass and there will be a brighter tomorrow.
2. Remember it’s ok to ask for help or acknowledge life is hard right now. Pretending is exhausting. Sometimes just telling someone “I can’t do this” opens a door for care and companionship along the journey. If you go to an event and emotions hit, it’s ok to slip away for a few minutes to “ride the wave of pain” and then it’s ok to tell someone around you that you’re struggling. Sometimes just saying it and not holding it in can give you relief and the ability to keep engaging in activities.The worst thing you can do is pretend everything is fine and then leave an event feeling lost and isolated. Those feelings will sometimes still be there at the end of an activity, but sharing with others at least lets you take comfort in knowing someone has heard your pain.
3. Remember expectations leave us weary and discontent. Ruth Chou Simons book, Emmanuel, says “Expectations leave us unfulfilled and doubtful whether God is for our good. But expectancy is anticipation mingled with joy. It’s believing God is who He says He is while waiting patiently for His good to be revealed, however He chooses to reveal it. Expectancy remembers what is already more than one deserves; expectation demands more.” Live in expectancy that God will work all things together for good (Romans 8:28), but limit your expectations that demand all your dreams come true. Healing takes time. Renewal is a process. Allow today to be a space in time that holds lightly to the unmet dreams and holds securely to the truth that God knows exactly what you are going through and He never leaves you or forsakes you. 

RESOURCE RECOMMENDATION:

We appreciate the GriefShare resources and they have seminars on Surviving the Holidays at https://www.griefshare.org/holidays/helpcenter.  Though many of their resources are for those grieving the loss of a family member, we find the principles of processing the grief can be utilized in various circumstances.

We also recommend reading a Psalm everyday from The Bible. All throughout Psalms you will find pain, sorrow, fear, anxiety and injustice, but you will also find praise and trust in our Creator God who gives us hope even when all seems lost.