DEEPER STILL: Week Thirty-One

Comfortable not Constricted

Proverbs 16:1

“The preparations of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.”

Reflections

Wouldn’t it be great if all our communication could be joyful and unified?
What if everything we cried out was praise and had a central focus drawing us together day in and day out? Someday that will be a reality for those who trust in the Lord, but for today, we have to choose our conversations wisely.

This side of heaven, our communication may need to correct inaccuracies and false teaching:
“…that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—” (Eph. 4:14-15).

If we condemn, it can feel hateful and divisive. That’s why we follow the pattern of Paul when addressing both believers and unbelievers—walking worthy of our calling with humility, gentleness, longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, and endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Eph. 4:1-3).

Begin with the right heart.
“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace… do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God… Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:29-32).
Edification is the instruction or improvement of a person morally or intellectually, truly looking out for the other person without self-seeking gratification or exaltation.

Reflect the right motivation.
Walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you were called: “…swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20).
This isn’t a “jump in and fix it” mentality—but a process of slowly walking alongside others while guarding emotions and responses so we reflect Christ’s righteousness.

Use godly wisdom.

• Timing matters:
  “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Prov. 25:11).

• Trust matters:
  “Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Prov. 27:5-6).

• Sharpening matters:
  “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend” (Prov. 27:17).

• Text matters:
  Guard against relying solely on opinions:
  “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword… and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Heb. 4:12).

• Discernment matters:
  Prayerfully consider reality:
  “He who corrects a scoffer gets shame for himself… Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you; rebuke a wise man, and he will love you… The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Prov. 9:7-10).

Are your conversations comfortable and loving or measured and controlled, causing constriction in relationships?

Prayer

Lord, I come to You weary from striving, burdened by expectations, and sometimes afraid to let go of my control in conversations. Thank You, Holy Spirit, for doing a deeper work in my heart today.