DEEPER STILL: Week Thirty-Six

The Cost of Forgiveness

Isaiah 53:5

“But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.”

Reflections

Forgiveness is not just a word we throw around in an effort to settle a dispute or cover a broken space; it is a sacred, sometimes excruciating choice. When you have experienced deep betrayal, abuse, or trauma, forgiveness can feel like asking your soul to vulnerably open up to someone you need protection from. Yet, Jesus knows that feeling. He did not forgive from a place of comfort—He forgave from the cross. His wounds were real. Forgiveness cost Him everything.

There is no rush in forgiveness when trauma is involved. It is okay to acknowledge the cost—to wrestle, cry, and question. God is not impatient with your processing. He meets you in the pain and understands the losses and injustice. He never forces your hand but gently shows you the healing that flows on the other side of surrender. He is with you in the wrestle and offers a compassionate understanding of the reality of the struggle.

But here is a hard truth: either way, you will pay something. If you choose to hold on to the pain, you will pay with your peace. Holding onto the anger, replaying the offense, nursing the wound—all of that costs you. It costs you sleep, emotional health, strains relationships, and your ability to feel safe or whole. It takes up residence in your heart and mind and consistently steals your peace. It feeds bitterness and consistently steals life from the places God wants to restore.

Forgiveness also comes with a cost. It requires surrender—sometimes daily, moment-by-moment surrender. It may feel like you are letting someone “get away with it” or giving up your right to justice. You may even grieve the fantasy of the apology you never received. Choosing to release what was done to you is painful because it means facing what happened and laying it down without knowing if the offender will ever change or recognize the impact of their offense. Forgiveness does not pretend there was no pain—it simply says, I am no longer willing to let this hurt continue to ruin or disrupt my life.

So the question becomes: How much are you willing to pay—and for what? Will you pay to keep the offense alive, or will you pay to let it die with Christ? You do not release it because it is easy. You release it because holding it is slowly destroying you. Isaiah 53:5 says, “But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.” We do not have to carry the torment of the injustice forever because the “chastisement for our peace” is on Him. Understanding that His stripes are the price for every sin ever committed is key. He is the One who can and will exact justice, and He is the One who can bring healing as we look to Him.

So today, can you hear Him whispering, “Will you trust Me with this? Will you pay the price of release, so I can pay the price for your restoration?”

Prayer

Lord, show me the meaning of Your sacrifice when forgiveness feels impossible. Walk with me as I wrestle. You know what betrayal feels like. Give me grace for each small step.